“Let’s Talk Therapy” with Sarah Teresa Cook

trusting neurodivergence as a compass for care

Welcome to this tiny corner of the internet where an off-duty psychotherapist keeps the conversation going on how to make sense of this life thing we’re all doing.

This week’s newsletter is an interview series, “Let’s Talk Therapy.” Through these dozen or so questions, you will get a deeper sense of how therapy can look and feel. Like most things, transparency about the inside of an experience can do wonders in deepening our compassion and understanding for oneself and others. My sincerest wish is this series will help in normalizing the complex feelings that can arise through doing therapeutic work and empower us to utilize it more wholeheartedly. Also, if I’m honest, I hope to learn even more about the experience of being a client so that I can continue to be an increasingly attuned psychotherapist.

One thing before we jump in, I show up very much as myself here. Myself first, and all my other labels are secondary. If a therapist speaking candidly feels like too much to your system, that is absolutely is OK and this may not be the best particular newsletter for you.

Our interviewee today is

Sarah Teresa Cook

(she/they) of

For the Birds

. I knew Sarah was someone I would connect with immediately upon our first interaction.

When anyone signs up for this newsletter, they are sent a little intro email. At the end of every email is an invitation to respond, letting me know a bit about them and what drew them to subscribe. Most people don’t take me up on this, but Sarah did. Over the course of several months, we emailed back and forth at the most luxuriously unhurried pace. My tender, over-stimulated heart was nourished by this spaciousness.

This all culminated in not only the interview below, but a video call last week about another project. As I tend to be before meeting someone for the first time, I was quite nervous. Feeling buzzy, scattered.¹ Clarity and calm hard to locate. Within minutes, the brain fog cleared and I felt warm and safe. I have no doubt as you read their response to the following 11 questions, you’ll see that just is Sarah’s effect.

1. First things first: How are you feeling–in this very moment–about volunteering to talk about therapy and mental health?

Truthfully: Therapy, mental health, and trauma-informed care are one of my special interests. I find talking about these topics to be inherently regulating and enjoyable for me, and I acknowledge that that probably seems rare or odd to some folks! But I’d choose speaking openly about mental health over making small talk any day of the week.

Kait jumping in here. “Inherently regulating.” This jumped out to me because I find people often fear naming these things will be dysregulating when often the opposite can be true. A component of therapy’s effectiveness is making the implicit explicit. Meaning taking what was previously unspoken, only known inside your mind or body, and naming it clearly.

To be fair, there are times where it can stir things up into a more frenzied state to name things explicitly, especially in certain contexts (e.g., when engaging with people in dismissive or defensive states, when the shame felt is overwhelming).

Come to think of it, that feels like it could be a signal. “If I’m naming what is happening in me and I’m feeling worse, it’s worth a pause. Is something happening in my environment or within me that is making this feel unsafe?”