Nice to hear you discussing all these issues, Kaitlyn. I'm getting asked that question about AI a lot these days. My response is usually: Until AI can soothe a crying baby, it won't be a replacement for therapy. We need to be seen, held, and witnessed. We need a body in the room that we can co-regulate with.
I am shocked at how little appreciation I get as an attorney- as a young law grad I thought I saw more gratitude from clients. I think AI is part of the shift now that many clients don’t recognize skill levels and think they can do equally well themselves especially in terms of negotiating a settlement.
I often tell potential clients they are paying me to worry about something they could do themselves, but I will have the experience to gather information more quickly and know what avenues to take. As a private practice owner, I am very lucky to have my mom to handle so much of the business administrative side of our firm, her office management skills are invaluable, neither my dad nor I have the perspective that she does for long range business planning.
I’ve never talked to AI about anything I would ask a therapist, I don’t know that I will ever feel “done” with therapy because I don’t think I’m trying to “fix” something about myself. I think it’s one of my tools of support and how I process my life currently and I appreciate having my therapist alongside me for that processing.
The only other time I went to therapy was a few appointments with student health when I was having a very hard time with my roommate and one of my best friends at the end of junior year and couldn’t figure out how to have tough conversations with them. I didn’t go back because I went home for the summer and I felt ashamed of needing help at that time and kept wondering what was wrong with me. I didn’t have enough time to establish a great rapport with that counselor and I felt very eager to pronounce myself “healed.” Looking back now, I wish I had been more open to therapy in my early 20s, it would have been nice to have that support especially when I was moving to a new city, separating from my twin for the first time in my life starting law school, and accepting that I was never going to be with my ex long term. It was a pretty rough few months and I wasn’t making great decisions.
Oof. Yeah. I could totally see that regarding work. The whiplash of the perception to reality moment can be jarring.
That is a good point about time sensitive therapy endings—you’re making me think about my time at the student health center as a client. And how different the discourse was then around it. I’m curious how we’d feel now if we needed that support in our late teens/early 20’s.
Since I went to grad school for school counseling and was an elementary school counselor for two years, I also had some realizations during school and my first school counseling job that were surprising. I had come into grad school completely unaware of how important it was for me to be dealing with my own issues to be good at helping others. I had never been to therapy myself, and my reasons for pursuing the career in the first place were because I wanted to help kids and didn’t really have an interest in anything beyond short term, solution focused modalities (which is what school counseling is known for).
But my first year of grad school entailed practicing our skills on other members of my cohort first and then second semester we counseled college students as part of our Advanced Practicum class. So I realized quickly how much I didn’t know about my own self and how important that was to the process. I also met my husband early into my first semester of grad school so I spent a lot of time with him as well as a lot of time at school.
Once I was a school counselor I was very surprised by how important classroom guidance was to my principal. We had done it sparingly at my internship site because my supervisor had just moved to a new school which had a constantly putting out fires energy with the kids I saw often, so I was not at all prepared to be managing a classroom well because I didn’t have those teaching skills. I went to beginning teacher meetings in addition to my elementary counselor meetings and felt like I had improved to a degree, but it wasn’t enough, so my contract wasn’t renewed after my second year, and I was told by my principal that she thought maybe I would do better with middle school since they didn’t require as much classroom time.
Ultimately I eventually ended up in preschool which has also been a big lesson in what I didn’t know, but with babies I felt like I picked up a lot of knowledge pretty quickly, and after 5 years of working primarily with babies I am much more confident that I know what I am doing.
Thank you so much for sharing, Laura. It’s so important the ways in which we bob and weave into the spaces where we feel like our natural gifts can really shine which it sounds like you have where you’re at now. I definitely felt like I got ping ponged around until I found that space myself.
I am so curious about the topic of AI, not as it relates to the replacement of a therapist but how we exist in relation to it. I’m not fond of using it, personally, but am intrigued and curious to hear the podcast episode where Esther Perel chats with a man as his AI as his partner. Brings up a lot of questions about human needs and how they are/can be met. I’d love to get your thoughts on it as a follow up! (After I eventually listen to it, of course)
OOooo yes. I love this invitation. I haven't listened to it yet--I'm honestly scared to, but a little light exposure therapy may be good for me here. I'll definitely report back in a round-up on my thoughts, feelings and reactions and want to hear what you think, too!
I was just talking to someone last week who was asking how she knows it’s time to stop therapy (I’m not a therapist, just have spent literal years of my life in therapy). I told her she would know better than I would but that for me, I started to realize that I had all the tools I needed and just had to trust myself to know how and when to use them. Plus, I ran out of things to talk about. 😅
Yikes, AI is such a complicated and layered topic. I have written and erased many thoughts already so maybe I will just say this - our world is lonelier and more disconnected than ever (obvs) and AI is definitely not helping this but also because many folks are so disconnected, AI appears to be the avenue/"relationship" where they find "unconditional/ non-judgemental" support. I am still figuring out how to help my clients navigate using AI in this way and what other options we can help them find that don't involve a robot. Vicki is totally right...AI cannot actually soothe them with mirror neurons or be a true witness to their pain so I imagine the "support" can only go so far. It's so complicated! My thoughts are all over the place! LOL! Maybe AI can help me sort them out. JK!
Nice to hear you discussing all these issues, Kaitlyn. I'm getting asked that question about AI a lot these days. My response is usually: Until AI can soothe a crying baby, it won't be a replacement for therapy. We need to be seen, held, and witnessed. We need a body in the room that we can co-regulate with.
Danggggggg 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽 That’s a great response (and much more succinct than mine 🤣🤣)
I am shocked at how little appreciation I get as an attorney- as a young law grad I thought I saw more gratitude from clients. I think AI is part of the shift now that many clients don’t recognize skill levels and think they can do equally well themselves especially in terms of negotiating a settlement.
I often tell potential clients they are paying me to worry about something they could do themselves, but I will have the experience to gather information more quickly and know what avenues to take. As a private practice owner, I am very lucky to have my mom to handle so much of the business administrative side of our firm, her office management skills are invaluable, neither my dad nor I have the perspective that she does for long range business planning.
I’ve never talked to AI about anything I would ask a therapist, I don’t know that I will ever feel “done” with therapy because I don’t think I’m trying to “fix” something about myself. I think it’s one of my tools of support and how I process my life currently and I appreciate having my therapist alongside me for that processing.
The only other time I went to therapy was a few appointments with student health when I was having a very hard time with my roommate and one of my best friends at the end of junior year and couldn’t figure out how to have tough conversations with them. I didn’t go back because I went home for the summer and I felt ashamed of needing help at that time and kept wondering what was wrong with me. I didn’t have enough time to establish a great rapport with that counselor and I felt very eager to pronounce myself “healed.” Looking back now, I wish I had been more open to therapy in my early 20s, it would have been nice to have that support especially when I was moving to a new city, separating from my twin for the first time in my life starting law school, and accepting that I was never going to be with my ex long term. It was a pretty rough few months and I wasn’t making great decisions.
Oof. Yeah. I could totally see that regarding work. The whiplash of the perception to reality moment can be jarring.
That is a good point about time sensitive therapy endings—you’re making me think about my time at the student health center as a client. And how different the discourse was then around it. I’m curious how we’d feel now if we needed that support in our late teens/early 20’s.
Since I went to grad school for school counseling and was an elementary school counselor for two years, I also had some realizations during school and my first school counseling job that were surprising. I had come into grad school completely unaware of how important it was for me to be dealing with my own issues to be good at helping others. I had never been to therapy myself, and my reasons for pursuing the career in the first place were because I wanted to help kids and didn’t really have an interest in anything beyond short term, solution focused modalities (which is what school counseling is known for).
But my first year of grad school entailed practicing our skills on other members of my cohort first and then second semester we counseled college students as part of our Advanced Practicum class. So I realized quickly how much I didn’t know about my own self and how important that was to the process. I also met my husband early into my first semester of grad school so I spent a lot of time with him as well as a lot of time at school.
Once I was a school counselor I was very surprised by how important classroom guidance was to my principal. We had done it sparingly at my internship site because my supervisor had just moved to a new school which had a constantly putting out fires energy with the kids I saw often, so I was not at all prepared to be managing a classroom well because I didn’t have those teaching skills. I went to beginning teacher meetings in addition to my elementary counselor meetings and felt like I had improved to a degree, but it wasn’t enough, so my contract wasn’t renewed after my second year, and I was told by my principal that she thought maybe I would do better with middle school since they didn’t require as much classroom time.
Ultimately I eventually ended up in preschool which has also been a big lesson in what I didn’t know, but with babies I felt like I picked up a lot of knowledge pretty quickly, and after 5 years of working primarily with babies I am much more confident that I know what I am doing.
Thank you so much for sharing, Laura. It’s so important the ways in which we bob and weave into the spaces where we feel like our natural gifts can really shine which it sounds like you have where you’re at now. I definitely felt like I got ping ponged around until I found that space myself.
I am so curious about the topic of AI, not as it relates to the replacement of a therapist but how we exist in relation to it. I’m not fond of using it, personally, but am intrigued and curious to hear the podcast episode where Esther Perel chats with a man as his AI as his partner. Brings up a lot of questions about human needs and how they are/can be met. I’d love to get your thoughts on it as a follow up! (After I eventually listen to it, of course)
OOooo yes. I love this invitation. I haven't listened to it yet--I'm honestly scared to, but a little light exposure therapy may be good for me here. I'll definitely report back in a round-up on my thoughts, feelings and reactions and want to hear what you think, too!
I was just talking to someone last week who was asking how she knows it’s time to stop therapy (I’m not a therapist, just have spent literal years of my life in therapy). I told her she would know better than I would but that for me, I started to realize that I had all the tools I needed and just had to trust myself to know how and when to use them. Plus, I ran out of things to talk about. 😅
Yes!! A beautiful pivot point—that trust in yourself is huge.
Yikes, AI is such a complicated and layered topic. I have written and erased many thoughts already so maybe I will just say this - our world is lonelier and more disconnected than ever (obvs) and AI is definitely not helping this but also because many folks are so disconnected, AI appears to be the avenue/"relationship" where they find "unconditional/ non-judgemental" support. I am still figuring out how to help my clients navigate using AI in this way and what other options we can help them find that don't involve a robot. Vicki is totally right...AI cannot actually soothe them with mirror neurons or be a true witness to their pain so I imagine the "support" can only go so far. It's so complicated! My thoughts are all over the place! LOL! Maybe AI can help me sort them out. JK!