Oh good lord, this piece hit and now I'm sitting at my desk fighting happy tears over this beautiful video of you dancing with baby Archie. Such a sweet moment that you are very generous to share with us. Totally agree with your dancing philosophy! Last week I made a playlist of songs I always find myself singing to the cat (with improv lyrics about how pretty she is). I had a really horrible morning and put this playlist on... then found myself dancing in the car to Copacabana ("Her name was Gracie, she was a show cat..."). Like, how can you possibly be mad with this idiotic earworm on?
Aww Gabriella, I'm so glad the videos brought that to you. I was very reluctant to share them so that means a lot.
Hahaha I can totally picture your improv lyrics to your cat. It's amazing how much of a companion music and movement can be when we get stuck in a rut.
Dancing in my bedroom to N’Sync “tearin up my heart” is a core memory…the first time I felt some sort of obsession/crazy crush (I’d still crush on JT even despite is DWI blunder). Overall, agree though…I can’t imagine my life without music and moving my body! Where we goin’ dancing next?!?!
yesssssss. tearing up my heart is truly a core memory for me. Despite this, as your brother can tell you, I've always gotten the ick from JT, even prior to his "one martini" and driving last week.
I mean, I'm so down. I'm still thinking we gotta do that roller skating thing here in Denver one Friday night. Dancing and rollerskating feels like a huge level up.
Gosh, it’s wild how 1 minute of dance can turn me from world’s biggest grump to happiest human around! There is something magic about movement. I need to use this hack more often, great reminder! And such a sweet moment of you and Archie 🥹🩷
How sweet are the videos of you and your little one dancing? ❤ Also, I LOVE the My Sharona scene from Reality Bites - THEBEST. I also like how you showed Cousin from The Bear b/c he's literally sitting in his car, but he's still getting that bump of energy. I've been trying to incorporate movement into my life and I've been looking at dance classes because I've always loved dancing but I think the ways you suggested incorporating it into your life are so helpful - while making dinner, at home instead of working out, etc. It just brings so much joy and this post reminded me of that! 💃
Isn't that scene so incredibly good? Not only is it legendsssss. A young Steve Zahn just melting every icy vein in my soul. I HAD to include cousin bc that is how I get most of my dancing in. From the waist up, screaming singing in my car, hahaha. I'm so glad this brought you some other avenues to access it.That is always helpful to me when things don't have to be so structured. I can just grab it where I can find it.
Absolutely love this! Dancing has become my absolute medicine, since motherhood particularly… I’ve always loved it but ‘forgot’ until it felt essential when in the early days of PP with my first. Now there isn’t a day that goes by without it… and I find it so helpful for my daughters too… we have regular dance parties in the kitchen and they never fail to shift the mood. I also find, when I’m exhausted and a workout or full yoga practice just feels too exhausting, that a 3 minute dance is accessible and possible. And often it will be enough to get me moving again! We love a bit of Shake it Off, Girl on Fire and Katy Perry firework or roar!! Xx
Yes, yes yes! I so relate with all of what you are saying--how it can be forgotten, how helpful it is with kiddos, and how it's accessible when other modes of movement aren't.
Girl on Fire is a huge favorite of my son's. It was the first song he ever named as one he knew and wanted to dance and sing to. We put it on and he started singing and dancing, and I immediately starting tearing up.
Music is a huge huge part of my life and while listening my body naturally responds with movement. My head bee bops, my hips shake, my feet tap- it can’t help it. I’m one of those annoying people who was a ballerina so if I try to “get down” I look kinda silly. Can I do a pirouette? Yes! Can I twerk? Absolutely not. Anywho…I loved this reminder to just get up and dance. I wonder what would happen if my waiting room played dance music really loud as clients waited for therapy and then as they left session…what kind of healing could be done? So much I bet!!!!
I had no idea about your ballerina-ness! 🩰 I am always dancing and bopping around, too. So much so, sometimes A asks me stop 🙃🙃 I truly wish I could actually prescribe dance. I should get a little mock prescription pad. 😂
I have a long history with dance, I kind of put it on pause after my son was born. But it turns out he loves music and he loves to dance, so daily dance parties are a normal occurrence over here and it has helped. Me reconnect to myself in a way I didn’t know I was missing.
Love this, Kaitlyn! Truthfully, I loved to dance when high on alcohol and cocaine but stopped when I got sober four years ago. Just haven't found my way back to feeling comfortable enough in my body to dance in sobriety. But...I stretch and move throughout the day, every day. Sure, it's yoga. But in addition to a daily class, I have a more organic, flowing practice that punctuates everything else I do. And if there's music playing, it's definitely Taylor Swift!
You got me with “…cringe-adjacent and so of course I must share” but also all the fabulous links that have me googling “how to save a Substack newsletter” cuz I don’t want to lose this one! 💃 Thank you!!
Former dancer here so this one speaks to my heart! My friends and I try to go dancing at least once a month, there’s a great little cocktail bar with a glittery ceiling that plays mostly 70s funk and soul… a most excellent place to let loose. My favorite is seeing other people really get into it too and that moment when you make eye contact and smile a little at each other like, "Yeah, we’re doing this." You won’t be surprised to hear Florence is my favorite to dance to, catch my jumping around my house like a maniac to "Free" on the regular: “And for a moment, when I’m dancing, I am FREE!” Mmmm that lyric hits so good.
I cannot be more thrilled to hear you make that happen once a month with your friends. If I had the power to prescribe that for everyone, I would. I totally know that look and I've had it at Florence. It feels absolutely euphoric and connecting. THAT SONG.
Thank you for this reminder!! During my sobriety journey I started dancing at home a lot, but I don't do it so much anymore - unless I'm feeling REALLY physically constricted due to stress. Almost always when I dance I burst into tears, because I feel so connected to this childlike part of me. When I was a kid I would spend so much time flinging myself round the living room to pop songs. It feels very tender to do it now... Especially because, once I went to school and we did dance 'lessons', I learned that, just like singing, I 'couldn't' dance.
Dancing sober at my wedding was a HUGE deal for me. I was just so happy and it was all my favourite tunes being played by an excellent band - how could I not?!
I have a note in my bedroom that has my reminder to meditate and do a workout. I am going to add 'dance' to it. Thank you xx
"flinging" is so exactly the word--thank you for naming that. It is so wild and free (and tender, as you say). those early moments of evaluation/judgement can really stay with us--it is wonderful to hear it sounds like you're being gentle with that tender part <3
I hope that addition to your note brings you some release!
I can relate to the worry of losing access to dancing after sobriety. I was always the first on the dance floor and the (unofficial) DJ before getting sober. It's been a journey to get back to the feeling of safety in my body while dancing in public after dropping the bottle. I remember a couple years back going to my first ecstatic dance. It was deeply uncomfortable and healing at the same time. I'm still not where I was when I was drinking, but I'm getting there. In-home dance parties are a MUST though!!!
When I was a kid I'd always be singing and dancing. I remember my friends and I would choreograph whole dance routines and perform them for anyone who was willing to suffer through watching them 🤣 there was even a point where we performed on stage for a lip-sync contest in school. Man, I'm lit up just recalling those moments!!
I'm so glad you mentioned ecstatic dance. That was one of the things that came up here in Denver when I searched. I know what you mean about it still feeling different. While I can still "get there" so to speak, one thing I feel less comfortable doing that I would do while drinking (which makes zero sense and all the sense) was going dancing at a place alone.It makes zero sense in that this was probably less safe to do while imbibing, and all the sense in that now my senses are no longer dulled and I can feel that this probably not always the best idea.
yessss. it sounds like we had similar journeys in our choreographed dances, although mine were veryyyyyy amateur looking.
It really does make zero sense and all the sense!!! I totally feel you.
I noticed it's kind of like meditation without booze. Which kind of makes sense since it's more "mindful." I'm now thinking of a wedding I went to sober, and I let go on the dance floor but it was as if waves of insecurity would flood my being and I would focus back in the bodily sensations to take me back out of my head. That was like a dance in itself!
Great piece of writing! I grew up doing competitive Irish dancing so i spent a lot of time dancing, albeit it in a very structured and focused way. I loved the way I couldn't possibly think of anything else while I was doing it, it was sometimes like an out of body experience. These days, 10 years after my last competition, I still love to dance wherever I can and will often have a boogie in the kitchen to my favourite pop songs. Special mention to Knock on Wood by Amii Stewart.
Irish dancing! So cool. It sounds like it was a state of absolute flow for you. Which is just the best feeling in the world. Talk about actually intoxicating!
also, bless you for including that song. I just played it and I am floatinggggg.
Oh good lord, this piece hit and now I'm sitting at my desk fighting happy tears over this beautiful video of you dancing with baby Archie. Such a sweet moment that you are very generous to share with us. Totally agree with your dancing philosophy! Last week I made a playlist of songs I always find myself singing to the cat (with improv lyrics about how pretty she is). I had a really horrible morning and put this playlist on... then found myself dancing in the car to Copacabana ("Her name was Gracie, she was a show cat..."). Like, how can you possibly be mad with this idiotic earworm on?
Aww Gabriella, I'm so glad the videos brought that to you. I was very reluctant to share them so that means a lot.
Hahaha I can totally picture your improv lyrics to your cat. It's amazing how much of a companion music and movement can be when we get stuck in a rut.
Dancing in my bedroom to N’Sync “tearin up my heart” is a core memory…the first time I felt some sort of obsession/crazy crush (I’d still crush on JT even despite is DWI blunder). Overall, agree though…I can’t imagine my life without music and moving my body! Where we goin’ dancing next?!?!
yesssssss. tearing up my heart is truly a core memory for me. Despite this, as your brother can tell you, I've always gotten the ick from JT, even prior to his "one martini" and driving last week.
I mean, I'm so down. I'm still thinking we gotta do that roller skating thing here in Denver one Friday night. Dancing and rollerskating feels like a huge level up.
A man sees Buddha and Buddha is smiling. “Why are you smiling?” the man asks. “Why aren’t you smiling?” responds Buddha.
And then Buddha laughs. “Why are you laughing?” asks the man. “Why aren’t you laughing?” asks Buddha.
Buddha laughs so hard that he begins to dance. “Why are you dancing, Buddha?” asks the very curious man.
And Buddha answers, “Why aren’t you dancing?”
and there it is. <3
Gosh, it’s wild how 1 minute of dance can turn me from world’s biggest grump to happiest human around! There is something magic about movement. I need to use this hack more often, great reminder! And such a sweet moment of you and Archie 🥹🩷
Isn't it? It does feel like absolute magic.
How sweet are the videos of you and your little one dancing? ❤ Also, I LOVE the My Sharona scene from Reality Bites - THEBEST. I also like how you showed Cousin from The Bear b/c he's literally sitting in his car, but he's still getting that bump of energy. I've been trying to incorporate movement into my life and I've been looking at dance classes because I've always loved dancing but I think the ways you suggested incorporating it into your life are so helpful - while making dinner, at home instead of working out, etc. It just brings so much joy and this post reminded me of that! 💃
Isn't that scene so incredibly good? Not only is it legendsssss. A young Steve Zahn just melting every icy vein in my soul. I HAD to include cousin bc that is how I get most of my dancing in. From the waist up, screaming singing in my car, hahaha. I'm so glad this brought you some other avenues to access it.That is always helpful to me when things don't have to be so structured. I can just grab it where I can find it.
Absolutely love this! Dancing has become my absolute medicine, since motherhood particularly… I’ve always loved it but ‘forgot’ until it felt essential when in the early days of PP with my first. Now there isn’t a day that goes by without it… and I find it so helpful for my daughters too… we have regular dance parties in the kitchen and they never fail to shift the mood. I also find, when I’m exhausted and a workout or full yoga practice just feels too exhausting, that a 3 minute dance is accessible and possible. And often it will be enough to get me moving again! We love a bit of Shake it Off, Girl on Fire and Katy Perry firework or roar!! Xx
Yes, yes yes! I so relate with all of what you are saying--how it can be forgotten, how helpful it is with kiddos, and how it's accessible when other modes of movement aren't.
Girl on Fire is a huge favorite of my son's. It was the first song he ever named as one he knew and wanted to dance and sing to. We put it on and he started singing and dancing, and I immediately starting tearing up.
Oh I love that! It’s a very powerful song!!!
Music is a huge huge part of my life and while listening my body naturally responds with movement. My head bee bops, my hips shake, my feet tap- it can’t help it. I’m one of those annoying people who was a ballerina so if I try to “get down” I look kinda silly. Can I do a pirouette? Yes! Can I twerk? Absolutely not. Anywho…I loved this reminder to just get up and dance. I wonder what would happen if my waiting room played dance music really loud as clients waited for therapy and then as they left session…what kind of healing could be done? So much I bet!!!!
I had no idea about your ballerina-ness! 🩰 I am always dancing and bopping around, too. So much so, sometimes A asks me stop 🙃🙃 I truly wish I could actually prescribe dance. I should get a little mock prescription pad. 😂
I have a long history with dance, I kind of put it on pause after my son was born. But it turns out he loves music and he loves to dance, so daily dance parties are a normal occurrence over here and it has helped. Me reconnect to myself in a way I didn’t know I was missing.
That is so incredibly sweet. I love being able to come back to things through parenthood.
Me too!
Love this, Kaitlyn! Truthfully, I loved to dance when high on alcohol and cocaine but stopped when I got sober four years ago. Just haven't found my way back to feeling comfortable enough in my body to dance in sobriety. But...I stretch and move throughout the day, every day. Sure, it's yoga. But in addition to a daily class, I have a more organic, flowing practice that punctuates everything else I do. And if there's music playing, it's definitely Taylor Swift!
I hear that a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. It’s a journey. Those practices sound lovely, especially the TS ones 😉
Yes, dancing queen! Adding a silent disco to my things to try out this year. xo!
Oh my gosh, Cait. It’s the best and so ridiculous. Definitely something we should do when we finally get together with the boys. 🤫 🪩
You got me with “…cringe-adjacent and so of course I must share” but also all the fabulous links that have me googling “how to save a Substack newsletter” cuz I don’t want to lose this one! 💃 Thank you!!
Haha that was a very real moment of awareness for me so I’m thrilled to hear you connected with it!
Former dancer here so this one speaks to my heart! My friends and I try to go dancing at least once a month, there’s a great little cocktail bar with a glittery ceiling that plays mostly 70s funk and soul… a most excellent place to let loose. My favorite is seeing other people really get into it too and that moment when you make eye contact and smile a little at each other like, "Yeah, we’re doing this." You won’t be surprised to hear Florence is my favorite to dance to, catch my jumping around my house like a maniac to "Free" on the regular: “And for a moment, when I’m dancing, I am FREE!” Mmmm that lyric hits so good.
Former dancer! What kinda dance are we talking?
I cannot be more thrilled to hear you make that happen once a month with your friends. If I had the power to prescribe that for everyone, I would. I totally know that look and I've had it at Florence. It feels absolutely euphoric and connecting. THAT SONG.
Thank you for this reminder!! During my sobriety journey I started dancing at home a lot, but I don't do it so much anymore - unless I'm feeling REALLY physically constricted due to stress. Almost always when I dance I burst into tears, because I feel so connected to this childlike part of me. When I was a kid I would spend so much time flinging myself round the living room to pop songs. It feels very tender to do it now... Especially because, once I went to school and we did dance 'lessons', I learned that, just like singing, I 'couldn't' dance.
Dancing sober at my wedding was a HUGE deal for me. I was just so happy and it was all my favourite tunes being played by an excellent band - how could I not?!
I have a note in my bedroom that has my reminder to meditate and do a workout. I am going to add 'dance' to it. Thank you xx
"flinging" is so exactly the word--thank you for naming that. It is so wild and free (and tender, as you say). those early moments of evaluation/judgement can really stay with us--it is wonderful to hear it sounds like you're being gentle with that tender part <3
I hope that addition to your note brings you some release!
This is beautiful, Kaitlyn.
I can relate to the worry of losing access to dancing after sobriety. I was always the first on the dance floor and the (unofficial) DJ before getting sober. It's been a journey to get back to the feeling of safety in my body while dancing in public after dropping the bottle. I remember a couple years back going to my first ecstatic dance. It was deeply uncomfortable and healing at the same time. I'm still not where I was when I was drinking, but I'm getting there. In-home dance parties are a MUST though!!!
When I was a kid I'd always be singing and dancing. I remember my friends and I would choreograph whole dance routines and perform them for anyone who was willing to suffer through watching them 🤣 there was even a point where we performed on stage for a lip-sync contest in school. Man, I'm lit up just recalling those moments!!
I'm so glad you mentioned ecstatic dance. That was one of the things that came up here in Denver when I searched. I know what you mean about it still feeling different. While I can still "get there" so to speak, one thing I feel less comfortable doing that I would do while drinking (which makes zero sense and all the sense) was going dancing at a place alone.It makes zero sense in that this was probably less safe to do while imbibing, and all the sense in that now my senses are no longer dulled and I can feel that this probably not always the best idea.
yessss. it sounds like we had similar journeys in our choreographed dances, although mine were veryyyyyy amateur looking.
It really does make zero sense and all the sense!!! I totally feel you.
I noticed it's kind of like meditation without booze. Which kind of makes sense since it's more "mindful." I'm now thinking of a wedding I went to sober, and I let go on the dance floor but it was as if waves of insecurity would flood my being and I would focus back in the bodily sensations to take me back out of my head. That was like a dance in itself!
Great piece of writing! I grew up doing competitive Irish dancing so i spent a lot of time dancing, albeit it in a very structured and focused way. I loved the way I couldn't possibly think of anything else while I was doing it, it was sometimes like an out of body experience. These days, 10 years after my last competition, I still love to dance wherever I can and will often have a boogie in the kitchen to my favourite pop songs. Special mention to Knock on Wood by Amii Stewart.
Irish dancing! So cool. It sounds like it was a state of absolute flow for you. Which is just the best feeling in the world. Talk about actually intoxicating!
also, bless you for including that song. I just played it and I am floatinggggg.