Simply, I love to write. I wake up in the middle of night with ideas forming and bursting. I did very little with this flurry of thought the first couple decades of my life. After turning 35, I took the leap to start this very thing you’re reading.

I’m also a psychotherapist by day. While this is not a therapeutic newsletter, it’s impossible for me to write without what I know in that realm seeping in. Thus periodically and informally I will explore therapeutic concepts. I’m Level 1 trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS). IFS is certainly a therapeutic modality, but it’s also a way of life—a tool for relating to ourselves and others. It’s not an exaggeration to say this model personally changed my life and my relationships.

I have a bit of an allergy to giving advice. No shade, I love reading those columns. Some of the newsletters I pay for on Substack are advice-esque. It’s the me giving it that doesn’t feel aligned with my soul and purpose. As such, you’ll notice my posts often end with more questions than answers. I rarely give advice to my clients. I don’t know why I thought I’d do it here. I do, however, talk about tools with clients and will periodically do so here as well, especially one related to IFS.

If you’re like me and you think life is incredibly hard and bleak, and also at times it’s really fun(ny), beautiful and incredible. That is what you’ll find here. It’s all the things, a lot of the time. If you’re open to admitting that, you’re in the right place.

dialoguing is about talking with oneself, each other (see you in the comments!!), and the world. Some pieces are more psychoeducational, others are narrative essays. I also periodically do roundups and brisk thoughts on a piece of media.

While a lot of my writing is informed by what I do for work, a lot of times, it’s just my material. As

“The question I keep asking myself as I write this book, the question I keep insisting upon, is this: How can this story–this experience–be useful to anyone other than me? How can I make this material into a tool you can use?

To talk back to myself: experience is instructive. People make connections on their own. When I make a metaphor, I offer the comparison, but the distance between vehicle and tenor is distance the reader must cross. I can’t carry you from one to the other. I can’t carry you from the nesting doll to the self, or from the boat to the life–you have to get yourself there.

I need to trust that I can hand this to you, just as it is, and it will mean something to you. I need to trust that you’ll know what to do with it. 

Here, take it. Is this enough? This is my material.”

From the podcast

Inspired by one of my favorite podcasts, Nobody’s Listening, Right?, we chat as if there weren’t mics in front of our faces. Join us as we explore modern day mental health, marital, and every day struggles, triumphs and everything in-between. Each episode dives deep into whatever is on our minds. Sometimes that is the newsletter and sometimes it’s burning questions from life. Whether you're a newbie to therapeutic concepts and vulnerability looking to better understand emotional intimacy, mental health, or relationships or you’re a therapist yourself this podcast can be a soft, less clinical landing to just talk about life and our feelings about it. Typically you can catch us, dialoguing every other Fridayish, however we are currently on hiatus. You can listen to all 30 episodes on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Who am I?

I’m Kaitlyn (pronouns: she, her/s, herself). That’s me up there ^^ a few tattoos and some bangs ago. I am a psychotherapist, life coach focused on well-being, and business owner located in Denver, CO (although I deeply identify as a midwestern water-baby). I have been married to my lovely husband since 2017 and became a mother to our son, Archie, a few years later. I’m a sober gal who is as original as they come and loves Taylor Swift. I started dialoguing in September 2023. It’s woken up a long dormant part of myself that is just so happy to be free and playing.

Why upgrade to paid?

Most of my newsletters are free for the first 2 months after they are released. Starting in September 2024, I have started to offer posts for those with a paid subscription. If you find yourself connecting with what I’m sharing, I hope you’ll consider upgrading to paid to get access to my full archive and these bonus newsletters. It is a tangible way to support my work and keep these newsletters coming. 

While my day job is to provide professional services, I show up very much as myself in this space—I am an off-duty psychotherapist here. If a therapist speaking candidly about things beyond their profession feels like too much to your system, please be gentle with yourself and know you can skip this.

The information provided on dialoguing is for informational and entertainment purposes only. dialoguing does not provide any professional or medical advice on Substack. Anything written or spoken should not be a replacement for medical, clinical, professional advice, diagnosis, or medical intervention. If you take any action as a result of what you consume on dialoguing, this is based solely on your decision and dialoguing cannot be held liable for the consequences of any action or inaction.

By consuming dialoguing you agree that there have been no guarantees made about the results of taking any actions whether recommended or not. dialoguing provides educational and informational resources. You nevertheless acknowledge that your ultimate success or failure will be the result of your own efforts, circumstances, and the innumerable factors beyond the control and scope of this newsletter and podcast.

Accessing and otherwise utilizing dialoguing on Substack does not create a therapist-client relationship. Nothing in dialoguing is meant to be a replacement for the services provided by a trained mental health or medical provider.

Contact: If you have any questions or want to connect for any reason, please send me an email at dialoguingsubstack@gmail.com. I love hearing from y’all!

Interested in working together: At this time, I have a few open virtual therapeutic coaching spots. My fee is $150/hour. If you’re interested in working together in this capacity, feel free to send me an email at dialoguingsubstack@gmail.com to set up a time to chat to see if we would be a good fit. I offer 15-minute complimentary consultations. These spots are first come, first serve.