I'm still glowing from you saying yes. I really value what you shared and it's prompted me to think about a few things (and break out my DBT workbook, ha!)
I got 3-4 sessions with a counselor in training at student health, I can’t recall exactly. I was 21. At the time I was complaining a lot about my roommate and how much trouble I had talking to her about our plans for senior year housing wise. She had a teaching internship and understandably wanted to be able to walk out to her car at 7 am to go to work, but I didn’t want to be isolated in an apartment on central away from the rest of my friends on West. I almost felt like the therapist was too validating, I wasn’t seeing my friend’s perspective at all. Ultimately I did keep rooming with her but stayed at Laura’s until late at night a lot! We made it through and are still great friends. Ironically the night I was avoiding her I watched Good Will Hunting in the common room until 2 am so I knew she would be asleep. It’s a great movie!
I picked my current therapist based on her psychology today website, I picked the practice because it felt meant to be- the owner did a CLE for Greensboro bar association on mental health and lawyers and when I was in crisis, I found out it was 3 minutes down the road from my kids’ childcare center.
I don’t feel ready to leave therapy, I wouldn’t say it’s super structured but we have clear skills I’m working on and the whole “I can’t control other people only my reactions” is a pretty big underlying theme! I don’t feel like my therapist lets me get away with glossing over hard moments, she makes me come back to them if I move on too quickly or keep circling without saying anything. I’m close to 3 years with her.
It's gotta be With or Without You, right?! I feel like we are getting a consensus here-ha!
It sounds like you must have eventually came to her point of view--it's quite a feat to go through roommate conflict and still be friends years later! (I will 100% do a piece on Good Will Hunting someday)
That totally feels meant to be to have them right there (and I'm also glad to hear the bar association had that CLE!). It's a beautiful art to have someone lovingly bring you back to the hard truths.
My friend told me this week I am so good at helping her to see other perspectives! So I think I got a lot better at it myself in the last 16 years. We had our 7 year olds only 4 days apart, and then Laura had my niece only 4 months later, it was really cool to be pregnant together and have this shared experience of them being so close in age.
So fun that we were all pregnant on such a similar timeline. And the fact that my roommate also has a 7 year old is fascinating to me- we all somehow managed to be on super similar timelines although of course Betty and I are just more social media friends- I appreciate seeing all her pictures of living in Oregon; she has a beautiful family.
I remember watching Good Will Hunting in the common room- that movie was amazing!
“With or Without You” is absolutely my favorite U2 song- Friends was my go-to comfort show for years (I watched it every night when I was in grad school), so I definitely associate that song with the show. Since I have a Master’s in School Counseling part of my training included being counseled by my classmates in our first semester- I was impressed early on by those in my cohort and their ability to get me to think about things differently (especially as someone who had never been in therapy before). The third time I was in therapy in late 2023/early 2024 my therapist was a 4th year clinical psychology student, and I really appreciated her willingness to push me beyond my tendency to intellectualize everything. I also remember appreciating that she wouldn’t just let me talk about something else if she could tell I was uncomfortable with a topic and would try to deflect. I had a limited number of sessions, so at the end she gave me recommendations for both individual and couple’s therapists which I appreciated but didn’t end up using at the time.
This is an apt day to be reading this because I have individual therapy today (which is also our 13th wedding anniversary), and we have couple’s therapy on Wednesday. I didn’t pick either therapist because they were assigned based on availability, and the therapy itself is provided through an Employee Assistance Counseling Program that’s available for free to police officers and their families. I am extremely appreciative of having free services available after talking to my co-teacher who stopped therapy after only a few sessions because only a few sessions were covered completely by her insurance.
I appreciate both therapists, although I notice that with my individual therapist she reminds me more of myself in terms of seeming more chatty, and I feel a bit more comfortable with her, but part of that is also that couple’s therapy has been more of a stretch for me. My husband has been to individual therapy short term a couple other times, and it was his idea to start couple’s therapy this year after we were having a tough time around Christmas with having long circular conversations. But we also have both had to become more aware of how we both contribute to our patterns, and I have noticed that our therapist definitely focuses on the accountability piece for both of us.
These sound like really rich experiences across the board which I'm so glad to hear. Thank you for sharing--I was very curious how many people who would have had experiences with therapists still in training/school/etc.
thank you so much for having me, Kaitlyn!!!! such a delight to reflect on and share here 💓
I'm still glowing from you saying yes. I really value what you shared and it's prompted me to think about a few things (and break out my DBT workbook, ha!)
I also love With or Without You!
I got 3-4 sessions with a counselor in training at student health, I can’t recall exactly. I was 21. At the time I was complaining a lot about my roommate and how much trouble I had talking to her about our plans for senior year housing wise. She had a teaching internship and understandably wanted to be able to walk out to her car at 7 am to go to work, but I didn’t want to be isolated in an apartment on central away from the rest of my friends on West. I almost felt like the therapist was too validating, I wasn’t seeing my friend’s perspective at all. Ultimately I did keep rooming with her but stayed at Laura’s until late at night a lot! We made it through and are still great friends. Ironically the night I was avoiding her I watched Good Will Hunting in the common room until 2 am so I knew she would be asleep. It’s a great movie!
I picked my current therapist based on her psychology today website, I picked the practice because it felt meant to be- the owner did a CLE for Greensboro bar association on mental health and lawyers and when I was in crisis, I found out it was 3 minutes down the road from my kids’ childcare center.
I don’t feel ready to leave therapy, I wouldn’t say it’s super structured but we have clear skills I’m working on and the whole “I can’t control other people only my reactions” is a pretty big underlying theme! I don’t feel like my therapist lets me get away with glossing over hard moments, she makes me come back to them if I move on too quickly or keep circling without saying anything. I’m close to 3 years with her.
It's gotta be With or Without You, right?! I feel like we are getting a consensus here-ha!
It sounds like you must have eventually came to her point of view--it's quite a feat to go through roommate conflict and still be friends years later! (I will 100% do a piece on Good Will Hunting someday)
That totally feels meant to be to have them right there (and I'm also glad to hear the bar association had that CLE!). It's a beautiful art to have someone lovingly bring you back to the hard truths.
My friend told me this week I am so good at helping her to see other perspectives! So I think I got a lot better at it myself in the last 16 years. We had our 7 year olds only 4 days apart, and then Laura had my niece only 4 months later, it was really cool to be pregnant together and have this shared experience of them being so close in age.
So fun that we were all pregnant on such a similar timeline. And the fact that my roommate also has a 7 year old is fascinating to me- we all somehow managed to be on super similar timelines although of course Betty and I are just more social media friends- I appreciate seeing all her pictures of living in Oregon; she has a beautiful family.
I remember watching Good Will Hunting in the common room- that movie was amazing!
“With or Without You” is absolutely my favorite U2 song- Friends was my go-to comfort show for years (I watched it every night when I was in grad school), so I definitely associate that song with the show. Since I have a Master’s in School Counseling part of my training included being counseled by my classmates in our first semester- I was impressed early on by those in my cohort and their ability to get me to think about things differently (especially as someone who had never been in therapy before). The third time I was in therapy in late 2023/early 2024 my therapist was a 4th year clinical psychology student, and I really appreciated her willingness to push me beyond my tendency to intellectualize everything. I also remember appreciating that she wouldn’t just let me talk about something else if she could tell I was uncomfortable with a topic and would try to deflect. I had a limited number of sessions, so at the end she gave me recommendations for both individual and couple’s therapists which I appreciated but didn’t end up using at the time.
This is an apt day to be reading this because I have individual therapy today (which is also our 13th wedding anniversary), and we have couple’s therapy on Wednesday. I didn’t pick either therapist because they were assigned based on availability, and the therapy itself is provided through an Employee Assistance Counseling Program that’s available for free to police officers and their families. I am extremely appreciative of having free services available after talking to my co-teacher who stopped therapy after only a few sessions because only a few sessions were covered completely by her insurance.
I appreciate both therapists, although I notice that with my individual therapist she reminds me more of myself in terms of seeming more chatty, and I feel a bit more comfortable with her, but part of that is also that couple’s therapy has been more of a stretch for me. My husband has been to individual therapy short term a couple other times, and it was his idea to start couple’s therapy this year after we were having a tough time around Christmas with having long circular conversations. But we also have both had to become more aware of how we both contribute to our patterns, and I have noticed that our therapist definitely focuses on the accountability piece for both of us.
These sound like really rich experiences across the board which I'm so glad to hear. Thank you for sharing--I was very curious how many people who would have had experiences with therapists still in training/school/etc.