a year of trusting

my favorite newsletters of 2024 categorized by all the feels

Welcome to this tiny corner of the internet where an off-duty psychotherapist keeps the conversation going on how to make sense of this life thing we’re all doing. If you ever wondered what your therapist does off the clock—which, who among us hasn’t?—this is like that. Think of it as the adult equivalent of seeing your elementary school teacher at the grocery store picking out lemons. 🍋

One thing before we jump in, I show up very much as myself here. Myself first, and all my other labels are secondary. If a therapist speaking candidly feels like too much to your system, that is absolutely is OK and this may not be the best particular newsletter for you.

I had the largest influx of new subscribers I’ve ever had last week after

Anne Helen Petersen

mentioned my recent The Family Stone piece. If you got here by way of that—welcome!!!

If there is one thing you should know about me it’s that I’m not cool. So I’m not going to play it cool about this. I’m delighted so many new hearts and minds have found their way to my writing and this space—and another part of me is quite nervous about that very same thing. More people to be rejected by, I suppose.

I’m going analogue over the holidays, mostly so I can spend every free moment reading, so I’ll be quiet on Substack for a bit. However, I have planned ahead a few posts to come out as usual on Mondays. This one you’re reading will be a smattering of posts from dialoguing throughout 2024. Another will be a reflection on Dry January with some of my go-to non-alcoholic bevies for anyone thinking of partaking. I’m often asked for NA recommendations and this feels like the perfect time to compile a list.

Continue on for this year of dialoguing—categorized into feelings and identities.

You’ll notice some of these newsletters are behind a paywall. If you’d still like to check it out, but not ready to fully commit–I get it–you should be able to get a free 7-day trial which would give you access to all my posts or use a single-use freebie to peek behind this particular curtain. Access to 60+ and counting archival posts continues to be the biggest benefit of a paid subscription

Relationships:

• Loving is Easy, Liking is the Hard Part

• the date I almost didn't go on 10 years ago

• Lopsided Love

Angst:

• Of Course Not Everyone Needs Therapy, But What If They Want It?

• It’s not just anxiety, it’s rage.

Mothering/Parenting others and ourselves:

• The Undesirables

• I’m OK Being Known in Motherhood as a Lot of Things, but Don’t Call Me Selfless

• "Is this really happening?" (a birth story)

Vulnerability:

• When You Don't Feel Belonging Where You Belong

• What If It's Actually Secure to Say You Feel Insecure?

• The Thing(s) I've Pretended to Love

• What If We Just Did What We Could?

Sobriety:

• What Others Couldn’t See May Have Been The Truest Thing About Me

• The One "No" That Made Space for Hundreds of Yeses (and counting)

• Do You Tell Clients You’re Sober?

Failure, disappointment and other delights:

• Did You Know Most Messes Can Be Cleaned Up?

• Lessons in Wanting

• The Emotional Symphony of Letting Myself Down

• What Spring Cleaning Could Tell You About Yourself

• do you ever have a day so bad you wonder if you’ve done something to deserve it? (and other spiral-esque conclusions)

• What is Spiritual Bypassing—and—How It Can Cause Us to Miss Ourselves and Each Other

When I look at all these, I feel deeply proud of all the feelings inside me I found words for and shared with you. Maybe it’s the same three or four lessons I’m learning over and over again in new ways. So be it. That must be what I need. At least I keep showing up, growing more into myself.

my editor can go so rouge sometimes

with me on a staycation

‘puter on ‘puter on ‘puters with my producer

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I’ve started to think more about the structure of this newsletter on a monthly basis. While I can’t and won't get super rigid with myself, a little bit of format is calling to me.

My tentative idea is one personal essay, one monthly roundup from my Say More column, a NEW interview series—Let’s Talk Therapy, and/or one dialoguing on dialogue.

I hope you’ll tag along as we roll into 2025. It has been the surprise of my life to find this community here and continue to share my heart with you all. Right along my shock that I actually did this and kept up with it, is my deepest gratitude for you. How beautiful is this? 🥹

Questions for you:

1. Any ideas for another dialoguing on dialogue segment?

2. I have some questions percolating for Let’s Talk Therapy, but I’d love to hear from you. What burning questions do you have about the experience of therapy. Even if you’ve been yourself, what do wonder about regarding other people’s experience in therapy?

• Coming up: Dry January thoughts and recommendations for anyone who wants to partake.

• Disclaiming. Therapy can be great. This ain’t therapy. You can find more info and my full disclaimer on my about page here. Abridged version: I’m a therapist, but not your therapist—even if you are a client of mine ~hi, dear one!~ this isn’t a session. I don’t think you could possibly confuse this newsletter with mental health treatment. Alas if that were to happen, let me say definitively, dialoguing is an entertainment and informational newsletter only, not a substitute for mental health treatment.

• Come say hi! Any comments, questions, suggestions, please feel free to email me at dialoguingsubstack@gmail.com—or if you’re reading this via email you can just hit reply and send me a message. Love hearing from you for any and all reasons! If you DM me, please say something more than “Hi.” I always assume those are bots and will not reply.

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ICYMI:

• Lessons from Meltdowns of Christmas Past

• The Problem(s) with Resolutions